Corona virus – Rider of the apocalypse for the dumb

A mild panic had erupted across Europe following news about coronavirus outbreak. One columnist wrote a satirical piece making fun of all those people who statred buying hygienic masks „en masse“ to protect themselves.

„Corona virus attacks!


Hide your kids, hide your grain, hide all that is alive!

Buy flour so you can make donuts and pancakes for your kids when everyone in the building will be starving.

If you are entrepreneurial you will be able to sell a pound of flour for inhumane prices, if the virus does not cause money to go extinct.

But even then you will be able to barter flour for your neighbours’ gold ring, his golden tooth, maybe even his entire dental prosthesis. He will not be able to chew anymore, but that’s not your fault.

That’s life.

People are calling me asking me if they should send me masks, those that cover my nose and mouth. I tell them I need an astronaut suit or a suit made of led, I tell them that we are talking about a virus, a viral nucleic acid, not about some Bacteria that is big enough so that simple  medical mask is able to stop it.

Collective madness, it seems to me, first catches on in bigger cities, as fools are more common to be found in bigger cities.

Fears are overblown. Not even those who made the virus are able to spread it as fast as they want to.

But, no worries.

The dummies will do all the work for them, with help of the media.

And this is the way things are, overblown as always.

Insights into 44. 672 cases.

About 80.9 percent of those infected had a mild infection, 13.8 percent ended up seriously ill, while 4.7 percent were in critical condition.

„What a weird miracle“

Even the ordinary flu knocks 4.7 percent of those infected off their feet .

 Some, already weak and sick, even succumb.

The autumn breeze rips the yellow leaf off, this is the way things are. People with chronic illnesses, exhausted and weak, die.

Fortunately, not always. Yet often …

The highest mortality rate is among people over 80 years old – 14.8 percent.

Terrible! Old men are dying!

The mortality rate of people over 80 years is anyways around 15 percent. Common cold kills them.

Wearing thin socks kills them. Children and grandchildren not visiting them and asking them how are they doing, kills them.

There are no deaths among children under the age of nine, and the death toll in the group under 39 years is low – 0.2 percent.

So if you’re under nine, don’t be afraid. For fuck’s sake, more people under 49 die from a heart attack than from an infection with this coronavirus.

And they call this a deadly virus…

In other age groups, the mortality rate is gradually increasing: for people in their forties it is 0.4 percent, in the fifties 1.3 percent, in the sixties 3.6 percent and in the seventies 8 percent.

Well, here I am. I’m in my fifties. So, out of 70 or 80 people people of my own age, one of us will die if he becomes infected with this virus.

 Recently, I was at a funeral of a a peer that died of a stroke. Just few days ago, I was at a funeral of another who died of cardiac arrest. Also, I was at the funeral of one who died of cirrhosis of the liver.

They did not live enough to get that corona virus. If they had, at least two of them would be alive, although not very healthy.

More men die from this virus (the death rate is 2.8 percent) than women (1.7 percent).

There you go.

Aside from the indication that the virus was created by the pharmaceutical industry to take your money and your mind, there are serious clues that a woman was at the forefront of the team that created the virus.

And one of those that hate men“..

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